Johnny Depp Said So.

   I dreamt of Johnny Depp.  This for me is weird, I have never dreamt of stars or celebrities, never really idolized any. I read, don't watch tv really and rarely (every few years) go to a movie. I like Johnny but not in a ga ga kind of way. Before I fell asleep I was thinking of a business plan I'd like to develop--a travel venture.

    I dreamt I was in France and at an open market.  I was talking to these people. One of whom was Johnny.  And we're talking like normal people, not movie star Johnny just normal (if there is such a thing) Johnny.  We're talking about just everyday stuff and then he tells me.
    "Let your hair go gray. It looks funky now because it is partially colored and  the gray is peeking out. But let it go all gray. It's hard I know. I mean, I no longer have my 15 year old little-boy face. It just takes time to get used to it."

   So I woke up with those words ringing in my ears.  You see I used to get professional highlights, lowlights, cut and style every 5 weeks. Every other week I got a mani and pedi. Well the manis and pedis stopped when I lost my job. Then I started coloring my hair at home. Now I can't even afford that. Still unemployed with gray/white hair and an old color job fading and really needing a haircut I wonder if it is my hair that is keeping me unemployed. I'm sick of hearing "overqualified" so often, knowing all along it is a euphemism for over 45.  I'm tired of second guessing my lack of employment.  Is it my hair? Should I dumb down my resume some more? Did  I seem too eager/desperate?
   
    I can't compete with young kids, I don't want to. Frankly I'm tired of the whole thing.  I'm tired of being told to dumb down my resume, omit some of my education, lie about my age, accept volunteer positions, work for minimum wage 12 hours a week driving 25 miles one way to get there. During my last interview I was told they really wanted to hire me but I was too smart. 

    Well guess what!? I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore.  I will NOT dumb down my resume. I will NOT apologize for having a wide variety of job skills. I will NOT apologize for having a brain and knowing how to use it. I will NOT pretend I'm some young thing. I will NOT be thankful for a minimum wage part time job offer. I can do math, that pays for the gas to get me there and back and pays Uncle Sam taxes; it doesn't meet my basic needs. I am NOT afraid of hard work, I know I won't make the wages I used to make but I deserve and demand a livable wage dammit!

     So why did Johnny tell me to let my hair go completely gray?  I have no idea.  But I'm glad someone told me it is ok to be me. So my hair is going gray, it is long, I have a Journeyman's card and a couple of degrees. I can make change, I'm honest, drug free with no criminal record. I am intelligent, a hard worker, responsible, competent and I give a damn about things.  I can be a good employee.  If that isn't good enough well maybe it is time for me to go into business for myself.  Anyway, Johnny said so.